Reclamation
by atheart101
Summary: "True love?" He remarks as we begin walking down the street. I'm not sure which of us gives the silent cue, but we're walking and we're together and damn it I forget why that's a bad idea. "And here I was under the impression it only existed in fairytales." ((AU Rumbelle fic. Warning, it's a little dark.))
1. Chapter 1

_Reclamation__, n.: claim, conversion, improvement, rescue, redemption, recovery. The recovery of useful substances from waste products._

**C**hapter One

Spilled milk. I mean, it wasn't spilled milk. Unless you counted a sugarier, more frozen version commonly known as ice cream as spilled milk, then sure, it was spilled milk. The thing you shouldn't cry over. And I couldn't get it out of my head. I'm sure I'm wearing actual rivets into the linoleum flooring, but Sandy has given up trying to make me sit down and wait like everyone else in the waiting room. I'm sure my mascara-smeared tear tracks aren't doing me any favors. I just can't believe I was so stupid as to forget today. After counting down all year, I forgot. Lissa didn't. Obviously. But I did. And now all I can think about is stupid, fucking spilled milk. Or ice cream. Whatever. I know for a fact it is currently melting all over our living room floor. And then it's going to stick and it'll be impossible to clean and I swear Liss, if you don't make it out of this I refuse to clean it up. Hardwood floors be damned.

So yes, spilled milk. Because fixating on sticky ice cream I most likely will never clean is better than thinking about my actual situation. The one where I left my best friend alone because she said she wanted ice cream only to come home and find her passed out on the bathroom floor. Blood everywhere. Plus empty pill bottles. Don't ask me how it's possible. But it's Lissa, so I know it is.

The hairs on the back of my neck prickle and instinct takes over as I duck and spin to meet…a death glare from Sandy, the night nurse on duty. I sag into the chair she's been wanting me to occupy for the better part of three hours, more out of relief than obedience, though I refuse to acknowledge said relief. For personal reasons. Denial being one of them. Also, I need to focus on Lissa rather than my own demons.

Damn it. I glance at the clock again, wondering not for the first time if it was broken, and stare at the double doors Dr. Mercer took Lissa through earlier, simultaneously willing them to open and praying that they won't. I wasn't allowed back there. I've never been allowed back there.

This has all happened before, so you'd think I'd have the routine down by now. Know what to expect and all that. But I don't. I think I'd start to worry if I did. I don't know, if today weren't _that_ day, the day we never talk about but is always present – the freaking planet in the room – then maybe I wouldn't be as worried. But it is and I am. How could I be so fucking stupid? How could I forget?

_Oh Liss, I am so so sorry._

I resume pacing. Sitting sucks and my legs won't stop bouncing up and down and I swear that the hospital clock is broken. It's never taken them this long before. She needs blood and her stomach pumped. That's it. Then we can go home. I found her in time.

Right?

Right. Everything is going to be okay.

I keep this up for hours, feeling like Monk in the episode when he found out his psychologist was retiring. Going through all the stages of grief every five minutes. It's exhausting and yet I can't sleep. Won't. Can't.

Eventually Sandy leaves for home as Cheryl comes in for her shift. Sandy runs her hand down my arm and I do my best not to flinch. Cheryl nods her hello and hides her sympathy well. I can still see it, but at least the coffee she offers me is out of understanding instead of pity. I've always liked Cheryl best of all the night shift nurses.

God. I should not be able to say that.

"When?" Is all she asks.

"Nine thirty." I answer. It comes out as more of a croak and I clear my throat. After hours of silence and hardly any fluids, it's no wonder I'm hoarse. I run my fingers through my messy bun and more brown tendrils fall around my face. I'm sure it's shining with grease by now but I don't care.

Why won't those doors open?

Cheryl's neutral façade cracks and I can tell she's asking herself the same question. "It's almost six," she murmurs, I think to herself but I nod anyway. "They haven't come out at all?"

"No." I refuse to elaborate, to give credence to my fears, and Cheryl takes the hint and walks back to her reception desk. The hospital will be opening soon.

Another day is about to dawn in Storybrooke, Maine.

Maybe Lissa was right all those months ago. Maybe we should never have come here.

"Kahlan." Cheryl's voice reaches me through the fog and I bolt upright in my chair. Afternoon light spills through the hospital windows. I take it in as I look around, remembering where I am, and shudder, shaking off the beginnings of that dream. Hands reaching for me in the dark, his hands, are not what I need to be thinking about right now.

Dr. Mercer was walking through the doors.

"Dr. Mercer!" I scramble to my feet, still wondering how I wound up curled up in my seat to begin with, and rush over to him. "How's Lissa?"

"We're still working on her," he tells me, face giving nothing away. Damn doctors and their poker faces. Seeing my protest, he holds up a hand. "Trust me, Kahlan, this is the first chance I've gotten to come see you. Lissa's body is very weak and it's given out on us several times. We haven't given up and we're doing all that we can do. I promise. I'll give you an update just as soon as I am able."

"She's still alive?" The question is out of my mouth before I can pull it back. I hate the way my voice wavers.

"Yes, Kahlie, she's still alive. She's holding on for you, just like you asked as we rushed her back last night. Okay?"

I nod and take a deep breath. The doctor reaches out to squeeze my shoulder, but I jerk back, the dream and its memories still too close. Dr. Mercer's eyebrows constrict in worry, but he knows better by now than to push with questions.

"I'll be back out as soon as I can," he says instead. Those damn double doors swing shut behind him and I sigh, resigned at last.

Leg one of the wait game is over. Now all they have to do is wake Lissa up and we can go home.

_Please oh please wake up, Liss._ _I can't do this without you._

I find myself wondering whether True Love's Kiss could do more than just wake Lissa up, and then snort at the thought. I've been spending too much time with—

"Hi Kahlie, what's so funny?"

Speak of the precious little devil.

I plaster a smile on my face and turn to the boy suddenly appeared beside me. "Hi Henry. Oh nothing, I was just thinking about your book. What're you doing in the hospital? Is everything okay?"

A big grin darts across Henry Mills' face. "Oh yeah! Emma and I were on an Operation Cobra mission. She wanted to call it Operation Pumpkin because it had to do with Cinderella. Well, she's Ashley here, but she's really Cinderella. Anyway we were finding her for Mr. Gold when she went into labor! Emma brought her here and now's she's having her baby and wants to keep it! So Emma's talking to Mr. Gold now so Ashley can keep her baby."

Leave it to Henry Mills to brighten dark days. "That's fabulous news, Henry." But the smile that escaped my lips suddenly turns down. "But didn't Ashley have a deal with Mr. Gold? I heard you couldn't back out of a deal with him once you signed a contract." Lissa and I have kept as low a profile as possible since moving to Storybrooke. We learned early on that Mr. Gold was the one person in town you wanted to avoid. It's been eight months since we moved here and neither of us have had one confrontation with the man. I hope we never do. I've had enough frightening men in my life to last me a couple lifetimes.

"But Emma's the savior. If anyone can change his mind, it's gonna be her."

I smile ruefully at the blind faith the boy has in his birth mother. "You're right, kid. If anyone can do it, Emma can."

"Is Lissa okay?" Henry asks.

I cock my head as I look into his eyes, considering what to say. Both Lissa and I babysat Henry for months before Regina fired first Lissa then me a few months later. But Henry and I have remained close. Probably because I was the first one to take him seriously about his Fairy Tale theories. Not that I believe them, but I know what it's like to feel absolutely convinced of something and have no one believe you. So I believe him. And now, because of our shared viewpoint, so does Emma. And because of all of that, I know I can't lie to Henry. Not about this.

But I don't have to give him all the gory details either. "No, she's not okay, Henry. She had a really hard night last night."

Henry wraps his arms around my neck and squeezes tight. "She'll be okay," he whispers with absolute certainty.

I hold Henry closer and rein in the wave of emotions threatening to crash. Three and a half words from one precious boy and I can't function.

"Thank you, Henry," I whisper back as I release him. I just don't tell him what I fear is true.

"Kahlan?" Emma's voice is gentle as she crouches down beside Henry. "Have you seen her yet?"

I give my friend a lop-sided smile, unsure of whether to be grateful that Emma never seems to need to ask what happened or to fall apart in tears because Emma never seems to need to ask what happened. "Not yet," I say instead. "I brought her in last night around nine thirty. They've been working on her ever since."

"You'll survive this, Kahlan. Whatever the outcome."

"Yeah, and we'll help!" Henry chimes in.

I can't help the grin that flits across my face. But I'm so tired of surviving. _Is that really all there is?_ And surviving my nightmares without Liss? Not even Emma can help me with those. And she's the only one in this crazy town, besides my best friend, with a truly troubled past who has any hope of understanding mine. But chasing away the things I can't escape? Of that I'm not so sure.

"Thanks, guys," I say. Because regardless of the outcome, regardless of what they can or can't do, they're here and they're trying and it's more than what most people will do.

Henry smiles broadly, looking back and forth between us and launches into a more detailed description of Operation Pumpkin. He still refuses to reveal his own name for this latest Cobra mission on the grounds that Emma is still not ready to hear it, but I have a pretty good idea of what it might be. From his standpoint, this mission was all about convincing a mom to keep her child. He had no doubt Emma would find Ashley, so his objective would have been to convince Emma to convince Ashley to keep her family together. I highly doubt Emma would have taken too well to something like Operation Mom. But Henry's always been smart like that.

"Do you think Sean will come see Ashley and the baby?" Henry asks Emma as he finishes his story.

"Who knows, kid. If he can get out from under his father's thumb, then maybe."

"It'll be a real happy ending! Cinderella and Prince Thomas finally being reunited!"

"Henry—" Emma begins, wariness in her voice.

"You're absolutely right," I finish for her, ignoring the glare my friend sends my way. "And this town deserves one, doesn't it?"

Henry nods and opens his mouth to continue when his eyes flit to something behind me. I turn and see Dr. Mercer walking through the doors again. His gait is slow and his eyes weary. My head starts to shake back and forth as my stomach plummets. I'm not ready for this.

I'll never be ready.

"She's alive," Dr. Mercer tells me as he gets closer. My sigh of relief nearly puts me back in my seat and I wipe at the stray tear on my cheek. "And she seems to be stabilizing."

"When can I see her?"

"Now. It's why I'm here. I came to get you."

I'm up and gathering my things when I hear his beeper sound.

"Shit." The curse slips out as he looks up at me. "I'm sorry, Kahlan, that's Lissa. I'll be back as soon as I can." Dr. Mercer gives me one last look, his vizier finally cracking enough for me to grasp the seriousness of my friend's situation.

"Let me come back with you, please," I beg, my legs starting to tremble.

Dr. Mercer carefully places one hand on my shoulder, slow enough that instincts don't kick in. "You don't want to see this part, Kahlie. If I can save her, I'll come get you."

"But it'll be to say goodbye." It's not a question, hardly a statement. Just one girl recognizing she won't be going home with the girl she's always considered her sister.

Shit is right.

"Just wait right here." And then he's gone.

Three pairs of arms wrap around me as my legs give way and they guide me back to my chair.

I look up to see Emma pull Mr. Gold away from me with a warning in her eyes, giving me room. Henry just hugs me as tight as he can, doing the only thing he knows to do to help me through. I hold on tight and fight the tears. She's not gone yet. She's not gone yet. _Please don't be gone yet._

Emma crouches down in front of me with a sad smile. "She'll hold on for you, Kahlan. You'll get back there and talk to her and—"

"I don't want to hear it, Emma," I snap. "She's not coming out of this."

Henry stiffens at the tone of my voice and I feel him look up at me, can practically sense the confusion and fear on his face. But what's the point in sugar-coating things anymore? Lissa lost the will to live. She couldn't take the guilt anymore, the reality of her life. Henry should know that, needs to understand that life isn't a fairy tale. That good doesn't always win. That people don't always find each other. That family doesn't always get to stay together. That sometimes, the family you're given becomes your worst nightmare. That—

"…perhaps this isn't the best environment for the boy?" His quiet, soft lilt reaches through my spiraling thoughts and snaps my eyes to his face. How do I know that voice? He and I have never interacted. _How do I know you?_

Emma nods and reaches for Henry. "Come on, Henry. I've got to get you home."

"What? No! I have to stay here with Kahlan. For Lissa."

I plaster a comforting smile on my face and turn to face the boy, consciously softening my voice for his benefit. "I'll be here for Lissa. And I'll be going back soon and I'll tell her that you're waiting for her to get better, too. I promise."

Henry relaxes at my promise, but still asks, "But I thought you said she wasn't getting better?"

"I know. I'm sorry I scared you. I got scared and lashed out and that was unfair of me." I look towards Emma and she's already smiling, giving me the nod that tells me all is well. I put my brave face on and look back down at Henry. "I don't know what's going to happen, but I promise you everything will be okay. Alright? So go home with Emma before your mom suspects anything and I'll see you tomorrow."

I gently push Henry to his feet and Emma takes his hand. "Come on kid, let's go." She sends one final glance my way, a silent question and I smile back. It's small and entirely fake on my end because of course I'm not okay on my own, but there's nothing I can do. Henry is the only thing keeping Emma here and I've decided to be selfish and refuse to jeopardize that fragile stability. Basically, if it keeps Emma here, I'll do it.

I studiously ignore Mr. Gold and watch Emma and Henry walk down the corridor and begin to wonder what that sight would have looked like a few years down the road with Lissa had she not gotten the abortion. The telltale creak of the chair next to me notifies me that Mr. Gold didn't leave.

One deep breath in and I'm under control. He can't make me do anything I don't want to.

And for some reason, deep down, I know he wouldn't even consider it.

Which goes against everything I've ever heard about this guy.

The beast in a suit and tie.

I face him. And am struck by his eyes. Caramel eyes that burn and question, so deep I'm sure he doesn't even know how much he's buried, and there's an openness about them I feel certain he doesn't mean to show. It's like in this moment he's vulnerable and I can't help but respond. Because somehow, some way, I know those eyes and the soul within them.

No.

No.

_No._

_Pull yourself together and shut it off. You know what happens next. _He _taught you well. You think this man is any different? He's known as the devil of this town. Don't hang around to find out differently, or worse to be proven right. You finally got free. Don't lose that by falling into some deal with him. He can't save you. And he can't save Lissa._

My little pep talk has me squaring my shoulders and steeling my gaze as I sweep over the rest of him. He's not an impressive male specimen to say the least, and I staunchly ignore that traitorous thought that swoons over his hair, his mouth, his damn eyes, his hands, and fuck alright fine. He's attractive and I think if I weren't so damaged I would consider— no. Damn it. Stop.

I face away from Mr. Gold and watch the double doors instead, waiting for Dr. Mercer to appear. There's a thing about monkeys, right? Out of sight, out of mind? Oh. No, it's monkey see, monkey do. Okay, so staying clear of monkeys then. Maybe it's dogs. That saying. I've always wanted a dog. They're loyal and protective and love you no matter what. Maybe I can ask Lissa if we should get a dog.

And then I remember I'm probably going home alone.

"Is there a cure for this?"

I don't realize I've voiced the question until Mr. Gold responds. "I'm sorry?"

I glance over at him sheepishly, barely allowing myself to meet his gaze. "Nothing. You're Mr. Gold, right? I'm Kahlan. Kahlan Pierce."

Gold offers me a slight smile. "It's nice to meet you, Kahlan. I'd like to—that is, is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Turn back time?" I ask as I run my hands through my messy bun again. I blow my bangs out of my eyes, and quite honestly I'm surprised there is hair still tied back.

"A little beyond my powers nowadays, my dear, I'm sorry."

A chuckle escapes my lips. "Well thanks for trying.

"Kahlan," he begins, but I'm cutting him off before I know it, needing an answer this time.

"Is there a remedy to this, Mr. Gold?" And this time, my eyes latch onto his, searching for something I don't even know, but begging for the answer.

"A remedy to what?" He breathes out.

"For life. For all of this. Is there a cure to make it stop? Some sort of magical remedy?" _Please oh please oh please._

Regret enters those caramel eyes. "I'm afraid I'm all out of magic, my dear."

I shake my head, smiling slightly to hide disappointment I shouldn't be feeling. I steel myself once again. "I'm sorry. You don't need to be party to this, to be burdened with my life. Or my friend's."

Mr. Gold begins to reach out to be and pauses in midair when I stiffen. I keep my body still, but let my eyes travel to meet his again. Mr. Gold let's his hand drop, but says. "It is no burden, truly. And if it's all the same to you, I'd like to stay until your friend is alright."

Mary Margaret, Emma, even the Mayor have told me tales of the infamous Mr. Gold. There's a reason everyone in town fears him. He's all about power and doesn't care who he hurts so long as he gets his way. He makes deals that seem to go in your favor until he extracts his price. He's smart, insincere, and damn near vengeful if you fight him.

But this moment, here, between the two of us, I would swear on my life he's never meant anything more than what he just told me. Which is why I respond the way I do instead of the way I should. With the truth.

"You'll be waiting a long time, then, Mr. Gold."

"And why is that?"

"Because she's not getting better this time." I look back down at my hands, suddenly second guessing my choice vulnerability. Mr. Gold's silence only serves to stir the nerves in my stomach. Why won't the damn man speak? And why do I want him to speak? _He's dangerous, remember?_

See this is why I steer clear of the male species.

"May I ask why?" Mr. Gold's quiet voice breaks through my spiraling thoughts.

Surprised, I glance up at him, studying his eyes. "You seriously don't know?" He shakes his head and his eyes remain clear. "I thought being Mr. Gold meant you knew everything." _And I should want to keep it that way._

"You'll have to forgive my ignorance, Ms. Pierce, but I assure you it's genuine."

I keep my voice quiet, hoping it won't shake as I ask, "And is your sudden interest so sincere?" I'm terrified to learn the answer. Only, I can't decide if I'm more terrified to find he wants to use me, _because been there, done that_, or to find that he truly cares. Because that's something I've only found once before and I'm still not sure what to think.

Gold leans back in his chair and studies me, the space allowing me to breathe a little easier. I didn't realize we'd moved closer together. _Not sure what to make about that either._ I've always been aware of my space bubble.

"I gather you and your friend are more used to assumption than questions. Allow me to assure you, Ms. Pierce, that prior to today I did not know you lived. I was simply trying to make polite conversation."

I search his eyes and find them clear and steady, filled with a quiet strength and hope. It's that last one that makes me sigh. "I'm sorry, Mr. Gold. We may not be related by blood, but Lissa is the only family I've got now. We—she hasn't had an easy life and people in this small town don't understand us."

His eyes have shifted and I really should look away, but to me they're mesmerizing. Caramel eyes, liquefied into a dark brown, now peer down at me with remorse. Which irks me to no end because I don't need anyone's pity, and I open my mouth to tell him such which the remorse is pushed back and fear enters them instead.

That one I'm familiar with. Only it's not fear of me, but fear for me.

And he's facing the doors.

"Kahlan?" Dread settles in my stomach as I stand and turn to meet Dr. Mercer. The thought flits across my mind that perhaps standing isn't the best decision when I read Dr. Mercer's face and my knees buckle. His green eyes are filled with such sorrow. Sorrow that hopes to understand mine since he's been there for us since we moved to Storybrooke. He was the one who performed the operation and he's been the one who's saved her ever since.

Strong hands steady my hips and I flinch away from the contact before I realize it. I ignore Mr. Gold's worried gaze and wrap my arms around myself. It's the best shield I can come up with at the moment. I can hear my heart thudding in my ears and I can't decide if I need to run or not. Tears well up as I push the panic back and I open my mouth. But I can't find the words. Well I can, but I can't find the strength to say them.

I try again. "Please, don't…don't tell me she's…" The tears spill over, cutting off my voice. _Life without Lissa?_

"I'm sorry, Kahlan, I'm so sorry, but you need to come say goodbye." His voice is soft, gentle.

"She's alive?" I croak.

"Only just. Her heart can't handle the drugs she took and she's taking longer and longer to respond to CPR. We can't keep shocking her like this, Kahlie."

I nod, resigned. "So goodbye really means…"

"Just on your end," Dr. Mercer nods. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I manage to say. My voice sounds dead even to me. Good, I don't need to feel for this next part. "Thank you for not giving up on her."

Dr. Mercer motions towards those double doors I've hated for the last several hours. I move to follow him but instead find myself turning to face Mr. Gold. I don't know what I'm looking for, but my heart tells me what my head fears. That I'll find it in him.

Slowly, so that I have time to relax my body, Mr. Gold reaches out and tilts my head up with a finger underneath my chin. "Look at me," he says softly, "You can do this."

"How do you know?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper.

"Because you already are."

Those four words and his slight smile are all I need and I press my chin into in finger as a silent thanks.

"Let me know if you need anything, my dear, if it is not to presumptuous of me to offer. I won't keep you." Mr. Gold turns to leave, but I grab his sleeve. All I know is _he can't leave._

"Wait. I was…actually, if you don't mind…" I sigh, trying to find the words while simultaneously trying to swallow them. I peer back into his eyes and decide to throw caution to the wind. Past be damned, I know my instincts and the one good gift my father gave me was the ability to read people. And I know I can trust him. Even if I'm the only one who can. "I don't want to be alone for this."

A thousand emotions run across his face. Surprise, hope, fear, determination, and something I haven't seen before. He's silent for a few more moments and then, "You don't have to be. Lead the way."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks for the follows and reviews! Now on to chapter two. And while I do not own any of the characters (save half of one, that is), nor the dialogue of this fabulous show, I am borrowing some for this chapter. Enjoy! (and pretty please review!)**

**C**hapter 2

He takes a moment, just one moment. He needs it. He figures he deserves that much, having just been blind-sided with physical proof that Belle, _his Belle_, is alive. Living, breathing, and there in front of him. He allows himself one moment to appreciate that fact and then shoves it aside for when he's home alone and can plot his over-due revenge against a certain Mayor-Queen. In its place he allows his fear and worry to swell. Fear for this girl who is not Belle and yet is. For this girl who has been through so much with her friend, and, he fears, so much in her own life. His Belle initiated contact – something he shrunk from – and this girl, Kahlan, it's almost as though human touch hurts her.

All he wants to do is fix this. As much as he can. He knows from his own life that not every scar can be healed, but Belle once showed him, too late, that working on them made them easier to live with. And trust was the key to making it through.

He didn't trust her then, he was too afraid. But Gold knows better now. And he has his second chance. He can take care of this girl, and together they can find their way back to True Love. The only love that can save them both. He's not what she deserves, but maybe he can get there. Maybe he can get back to being a man who deserves a family, who deserves _her_.

Regardless, Belle – _Kahlan_ – needs him now. So Gold squares his shoulders and ignores the suspicious look from the good doctor as he limps after Kahlan. For once, his motives are pure. God takes his place beside Kahlan and together they make their way down the long hallway. A left and a right later, the three of them encounter a glass room with all its curtains drawn. Gold can feel Kahlan shaking beside him.

Dr. Mercer opens the door and steps aside. "A nurse will be in there with you, so when you're ready, give her the signal and she'll take Lissa off the ventilation." Kahlan nods and wipes her face of her tears.

"I'll be right outside," Gold tells her. "Go say goodbye to your friend."

~.`.~

I soak in the silent strength beside me and take a shaky breath. Walking into the room I'm met with beeping and artificial breathing. Everything that Lissa isn't and I know in that instant that no matter what I may want, I can't let Lissa stay like this. I close the door behind me and lean my head against it. I let the cool of the metal door seep into me. I just need a moment. Just one more. One more moment before I have to take in the sight of my best friend, _my sister_, in a hospital bed.

It's a familiar sight. If you take away the tubes and the oxygen machine. But no matter how many times we've found ourselves in this situation – _four, a traitorous voice whispers in my head_ – it's never gotten any easier to see. And this time, Lissa has finally succeeded in driving out the life she'd grown to hate and fear, regardless of her love for me.

My eyes sweep over her frail frame. Body consumed by a hospital gown, wavy blonde hair tousled and strewn haphazardly across her pillow, and her lips falling open around a plastic tube that reaches down to her lungs. All of it so, so wrong.

"Oh Lissa," I murmur, falling to my knees at her bedside. "I'm so sorry. For everything. I am so, so sorry." I flick a stray tear away because _damn it, I will be strong for this_ and looked up at the nurse. "How long?"

"It depends on the patient. With Ms. Fredericks' behavior tonight, I would guess that she'll go quickly. Under ten minutes?"

I nod and take Lissa's hand. "Go ahead then, she's ready."

"But are you?"

A humorless laugh escapes me and I quickly clear my throat. "This isn't about me. Just do what you have to do to get this tube out of her throat and stop this infernal beeping."

The nurse nods, obeys, and leaves the room. It suddenly seems much larger without her in here. I still feel like I'm suffocating, though. And I wonder if that will ever change.

"I forgot," I begin after a minute. "For nearly a year I've been counting down the days to this one. And then you were fine. Better than fine. You were bubbly and social and so full of sunlight and I forgot. Which, knowing you was probably your plan all along. So I wouldn't be waiting and worrying. You and me always take care of each other, right? To the very end. That was our pact the day we ran." I give up trying to wipe away the tears and let them fall, focusing instead on keeping my voice strong for the girl beside me. I can't help when it cracks over what I say next, though. "So it's alright, Liss. Go ahead. I promise not to follow." I try to quiet my sobs to get the rest out. "And I know you tried your best to stay here for me. So it's okay to go, Liss. Here," I shift close and place Lissa's hands over her stomach. "I'll sing you to sleep. Your favorite lullaby."

~.`.~

Mr. Gold stands up from leaning against the wall when a familiar cadence reaches his ears through the glass. The song is unknown, but memories of her voice floating through his desolate castle once upon a time, bringing life and joy, rush through him. How he's missed her voice.

"_Sleep now, and dream of the ones who came before. They are calling from across a distant shore…"_

Gold lets the haunting melody wash over him as Kahlan continues on, her voice gaining strength as she gets lost in the song. He opens his eyes to find Dr. Mercer staring at him, his gaze calculating. Gold lifts his eyebrow, sending a silent challenge.

"You're an intimidating man, Mr. Gold," Mercer begins, "Something I know you've spent years building through shady deals and unrelenting contracts."

"Do you have a point to all this flattery, Dr. Mercer?" Gold interrupts, uninterested in this man's threats.

"You may thrive off of threats and possessing leverage over nearly every person in this town, Mr. Gold, but Kahlan Pierce is not one of them. She has been through far too much in her life for you to show up and muck around in it. I don't know what your angle is, what your game is here, but let me assure you that I will stand in your way should you…come to collect."

Gold takes his time in replying, drawing pleasure from watching the man before him squirm. Not many people have the balls to stand up to him so blatantly, though Gold would be the last to admit his growing respect for the man. "Let's make a deal then, shall we?" He proposes, pushing off the wall to approach Mercer. "I won't make any deal with Kahlan she wouldn't agree to and you will stay out of my way." Enough of a restatement of what Mercer just threatened to seal the deal, a method Gold has found tends to do the trick.

"You won't make a deal with her."

"That's the thing about deals, doctor. Either party always has a choice."

"And if you break it?"

"In all my years I've only ever broken one deal. It is a mistake I shall never make again. Relax, Dr. Mercer, consider me an innocent bystander offering his support to a suffering girl. Nothing more."

Kahlan's voice reaches them through the silence as the two men shake hands, both with a sense of victory.

"_White shores are calling, you and I will meet again. And you'll be here in my arms, just sleeping."_

"It's from The Lord of the Rings," Dr. Mercer says after a moment. "Kahlan told me it was Lissa's favorite lullaby. She sang it each time Lissa was in here."

"Always the same reason?" Gold asks.

"Suicide attempt," Mercer confirms. He seems to think the more information God gets, the less likely he'll be to interfere. Gold doesn't attempt to dispute it. "Neither girl will talk about their past, but this is attempt number four in eight months. I don't know if there were any more before they moved here." But there is something in the man's voice that tells Gold that Dr. Mercer doesn't believe there was. _Something happened when they moved here that Lissa couldn't live with._

"Always Lissa?" Gold asks as he catalogues the information away.

"Alissa Fredericks," Dr. Mercer sighs. It's a sigh that belies the professionalism he already wasn't good at hiding for the attachment he really feels for these girls. He faces Mr. Gold suddenly. "I'm surprised you don't know all of this already."

Mr. Gold returns Dr. Mercer's comment with a wry smile. Yes, someone has been making painstaking efforts to keep everything concerning his Belle in the shadows. He's about to answer when Kahlan's voice changes. It hitches. And for a moment, Kahlan is silent and Gold thinks she won't finish her song when, _"And all will turn to silver glass. A light on the water, grey ships pass into the west."_

"She's gone," Mercer murmurs, dropping his head. "She's gone."

After a quiet moment, both men return to their places beside the door and wait for Kahlan to reappear. Several minutes pass and still no sign of the girl. Gold knows she needs her time to say goodbye and grieve the fresh loss of her friend, but he can't ignore the worry creeping through his gut. It's a new sensation after to many years without her, without caring for another soul.

When Dr. Mercer's pager sounds and he excuses himself, Mr. Gold takes the opportunity to slip into the hospital room. He closes the door behind him quietly and places both hands atop his cane. He watches Kahlan arrange Lissa's hair around her head. The girl could be sleeping. When Kahlan doesn't say anything, Gold decides to wait her out.

"I'm sorry," he hears her murmur as she lets one forefinger trail down Lissa's cheek.

"Kahlan," he calls quietly. She turns her head, but keeps her eyes on her friend. "It would be unwise to stay much longer, my dear."

Kahlan busies herself with rearranging the bed sheets instead. "If we hadn't come here, would she still be alive?"

"I cannot tell the future, dearie, nor what it might have held," Gold answers gently. "But I am truly sorry for your loss."

"Not your fault," she replies automatically, her voice dead. Gold shifts his stance. After all, in a way it was. "But thank you anyway."

"Come with me, Kahlan," Gold asks. "This is no place to remember your friend."

"I'll never see her again."

"Then keep her alive in your memories."

Kahlan shakes her head, Belle's old _that's the problem_ look. But after a moment, Gold watches as Kahlan transforms. Her shoulders square up and she lifts her chin. The girl who comes to stand beside him is broken but unshakeable. No, that's not quite right. She needs to be unshakeable. She's broken and she's scrambling for any sense of control. And all she's finding are scraps.

And then she takes a deep breath and nods to Gold, who opens the door. She's quickly through it, leaving Gold to follow.

"Are you generally this kind to every proverbial damsel in distress, Mr. Gold, or is it just me?" The question comes out of nowhere and Gold can only imagine it's serving as the best distraction Kahlan can come up with.

"Ms. Pierce, from what I've seen, you are hardly what people would consider to be a helpless maiden in need of rescuing." Kahlan lets out a bitter laugh, one that clearly states he has no idea what he's talking about. Gold files it away for a discussion at another time and answers her question. "No, Kahlan, you simply remind me of a girl who was once of great importance to me." Gold ushers her through the main entrance and down the stairs to where his car is parked. For once, she doesn't protest.

"What happened to her?"

"I was told she died."

"You don't know?" She asks, pointing directions to her house as he drives.

"She left me. I was told later that she –"Gold stops short at that. Though it's plain to see that darkness follows this girl, Kahlan has never attempted suicide. She has the necessary strength Lissa must have lacked. How could he have thought that Belle, his Belle who shone like the sun, had thrown herself off a tower?

"She what, Mr. Gold?" Kahlan asks, turning in her seat to look at him.

"Died, Ms. Pierce. She died."

"I'm so sorry," Kahlan tells him. And he knows how much she means it. Perhaps it could be what brings them together in this world.

No.

He can't lie to her. Not here, not this girl.

No, he would have to trust what Belle believed all along. That theirs is True Love. And nothing can stop it.

"It was a long time ago, my dear," he replies, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Do you still miss her?" She asks. But Gold can hear the question behind it. _Does it get any easier?_

"Everyday. But pain that was once crippling has dulled into something manageable." Gold glances over to her as he pulls up beside her apartment. "For a time now, I've been able to think of her and smile at the memories we made. And I can only hope she wouldn't completely hate the man I've become today."

Kahlan musters up a smile. "I'm sure she'd be proud of how you're taking care of me. Thank you, Mr. Gold." He stares at her in surprise. He wasn't expecting a thank you. And it appears Kahlan isn't done with him yet. "Can I ask…how did you move past it?"

"I…worked," Gold says carefully. "There were people who would have exploited me had they known the state she'd left me in."

"How long did it take?"

Gold fixes his eyes on hers. So alike to Belle's, the same crystal blue that always left him speechless back home. The only difference now is these eyes are engulfed in sadness. "Longer than I expected, but I was alone. I do not believe the same holds true for you."

Kahlan hums in response and opens her door. Gold knows that hum. He's given it himself a time or two. And judging by what he's seen so far of this girl, the trick for her won't be asking for help, it will be accepting it.

"Thanks again, Mr. Gold."

He's ready for it this time. "It was my pleasure."

Gold watches the shadow of his love ascend the steps to her apartment. She pauses before turning the key and opening the door. Gold can only assume the tumult of thoughts and emotions running through her body. Tonight marks the first of an empty apartment. No roommate, no music, no laughter. Gold can only hope nothing finds her there. And then she pushes through the door and is gone.

He sits in his car, staring at her closed door for a while longer and allows the magnitude of the situation to finally catch up with him. Belle had survived. But what has she had to survive since? Gold's features darken as he begins to form a plan. He wants nothing more than to drive straight through Regina's front door and hold her by the neck until she answers his questions, but he knows he must act surreptitiously. He must protect himself and Kahlan. Regina still doesn't know he remembers and Gold knows she can't learn that fact just yet. So instead, Gold pulls his car around and drives towards his shop. He needs a safe place to make certain phone calls, a safe place to do some research, to find answers to questions he's afraid to ask. Everything comes at a price, but this time Gold knows exactly who's going to pay it: the only one responsible for Belle's fate in this world. Yes, Regina Mills will pay dearly for her deception. And whatever information he may need to extract from her will cost him nothing in return. He'll make sure of that.

"Nothing? You're absolutely sure?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Gold, but I have no records of a Kahlan Pierce or Alissa Fredericks matching the descriptions you gave me."

Gold sighs in frustration and looks out the window of his shop. The sun is setting. Holding back his groan of frustration, Gold replaces the phone in its cradle. It's been hours and his third call just struck out. These girls have come from no where – and yes the _how_ still boggles him because no one should be able to find this town from the outside world, but _where_ seemed like the easier question to answer when Gold began this search – and he is already nearly across the country by now and none of his contacts have had any information for him. Picking up his phone, Gold dials the last number he has.

After Emma woke him up, Gold immediately began fulfilling his purpose for sending all fairy tale creatures to this world. He called the contacts his alter ego established throughout the country, only his calls became about finding a lost boy rather than treasured items. But it seems as though his son does not want to be found. Of course, Bae may not have kept his real name upon arriving here, but Rumplestiltskin had to start somewhere.

As Gold waits for his contact to pick up the phone, he hopes the man will come through for him as he did before. Roughly thirty years ago, a teenage boy had wandered into a small town in California dressed in a cloak and cloth pants. He'd refused to give his name and a few days later had vanished completely. Gold still couldn't find any other mention of his son, but he was greatly relieved to know Bae had made it through the vortex alive. He was also glad to discover his original theory about other worlds and time had been proven correct. Many years had passed between Bae's disappearance and the enactment of the Dark Curse, but only two years had passed in this world.

"Barrows," a rough voice answered.

"Mr. Barrows, I need you to find information for me."

"Mr. Gold, it has been a while. Still no word on your son, I'm afraid, but I'll keep looking. Who do you need me to find now?"

Gold rubs his eyes as he rattles off the information once again. "Her name is Kahlan Pierce. Brown hair, blue eyes, slim build, about five foot six. She had a friend named Alissa Fredericks." He waits as Barrows finishes typing the information into his computer.

A few moments pass in silence and then, "No record of a Kahlan Pierce, but there is a Missing Person's report for a Kahlan French and Alissa Richardson. They disappeared the same night. This Kahlan matches your description."

"Missing Person?" Gold inquires, sitting up in his chair. At last, a lead.

"Filed nearly two years ago. Mr. French says he woke up to find his daughter gone in the night, taking her best friend with her."

"Collect everything you can find on her and send it to me," Gold orders. "And make sure this remains confidential."

"Yes sir, Mr. Gold, sir," Barrows replies.

Gold hangs up and slumps back in his chair, collecting his thoughts. His Belle was a runaway. In nearly two years, she and her companion crossed the country, changed their names, and perfected the art of remaining under the radar – so well that he hadn't known of them. Kahlan flinches at unexpected human contact, indicating some kind of traumatic past.

Something bad enough to make her run.

And what of Lissa? She hadn't grown up well either, Kahlan said as much herself earlier. So they'd left together.

And found themselves here.

Gold has the where, but now he needs the why and the how. Answers that can only come from the girl herself.

~.`.~

"Kahlan? Kahlan!" Emma calls as she pounds on the door. _Anger and fear. Typical Emma. What is it now?_ "Kahlee, please let me in. I know this is a bad time and I would want my space, too, but Henry's in trouble and I need your help."

Unfortunately, that last bit is enough to get my attention no matter what state of mind I'm in. I swear, that boy has wheedled his way so far into my soul. So I shuffle to the door and wrench it open. "I swear, Emma Swan, if this is some kind of sick joke to get me to open the door, I swear—" But I cut myself off at the look on Emma's face. Shit. This is real. "What happened?"

Emma glances over my disheveled appearance, thankfully ignoring it for now. "Archie told Henry the curse isn't real, just a delusion of Henry's mind. He thinks Henry has gone to look for proof in the mine."

"The abandoned mine?" I ask. And then I remember. "The explosion."

"Yeah. And Henry thinks it happened because I decided to be the new deputy, which weakened the curse even more."

"So that must mean there's something important down there that could prove Henry right about the curse." I finish. Decision made, I reach behind the door and grab my jacket, slip it on, and grab the boots waiting by the door. "Let's go."

"Here, you'll need this." Emma hands me a hair tie off her wrist as we make her way to the car.

"Thanks." I pull my hair up into my signature messy bun and slide my boots on once we pile into Emma's yellow bug. I swear, one day this thing won't start.

Part of me is grateful for the easy silence between us as Emma drives to the mine. The other half wishes for any distraction. But if I don't ask, Emma won't pry. It's an understanding derived from similar childhoods and has allowed the two of us to bond as quickly as we have. Emma doesn't know everything, just like I don't know everything about her, but we know a lot more than most – unfeeling maternal figures, uncaring and cruel father figures, bruises and broken bones we've had to hide – and it's afforded us a relationship we can share with few others. We've been molded into similar characters, Emma and I, and I guess that's how we know what the other needs. Because we've been through something similar.

So we remain silent on the way to the mine, but halfway there Emma reaches over and squeezes my forearm. Just once. A sign of solidarity that means more than I know how to express.

When we do reach the mine, Emma and I share an uneasy glance before we step out of the car. A large crowd has gathered, what seems like half the town, and the fire department is suited up and awaiting orders.

"Why'd Archie tell Henry it was all just some crazy illusion? Wasn't he the one to tell us it would set Henry off?" I ask as we walk closer to the site.

"I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count," Emma answers.

"And to think I actually believed she cared about her son."

Emma crosses her arms. "We both know she does, but I think sometimes she cares about winning more."

"Having your son behave like he hates you doesn't help."

"No it doesn't."

"Where is he? Where is my son?" _Speak of the devil._

Emma and I turn to find the Mayor racing towards us. Graham catches her arm before she reaches us, however, and pulls her aside.

"You need to calm down, Regina," he intones. "We're doing everything we can to get him out safely."

"Then why isn't he out yet? If you are doing your very best, then why is he not out of an unstable mine?" Regina breaks off, covering her mouth to hold back a sob.

"Regina, Archie has gone into the mine. He'll find Henry and they'll find a way out."

_A way out?_ I look at Emma, whose eyes are already fixed on the collapsed entrance to the mine. "Emma?" I ask quietly.

"Archie and I raced here once we figured out where Henry ran off to. Archie ran in after Henry just as the tunnel began to collapse." Emma's voice is quiet, its tone one I know very well. I reach out and squeeze Emma's arm, returning the gesture she gave me in the car.

It tells me a lot that Emma left the scene to come get me. So I don the role she needs me to play. Just like with Lissa, it's my turn to be brave for Emma. "We'll get them out, Em. You'll see."

But then an aftershock rumbles the land, causing rock and debris to shift. Men working on clearing the tunnel entrance stumble back and Regina calls out, terror in her voice.

"Stop! Stop! You're making it worse!" I look around to see what she could mean, and then I understand as Emma whips around to defend herself.

"I am trying to save him!" Emma shoots back. I cringe as I see Emma wind up for her next punch. Emma and Regina are the same in this one regard – they both lash out when they're scared. And unfortunately, they're both really good at it. "You know why he went in there in the first place, don't you? Because you made him feel like he had something to prove!"

"Why does he think he has anything to prove? Who's encouraging him?"

"Do _not_ put this on me!"

"Oh please, lecture me until his oxygen runs out!" Regina turns away, her anger spent as the gravity of Henry's situation hits her once again.

I watch the fight fall out of Emma as well and nudge her toward Regina. No one really wants to fight anyway. Reluctantly, and very much like a wounded dog, Emma shuffles after Regina.

"We have to stop this. Arguing won't accomplish anything." Her voice is quiet, almost pleading.

Regina watches her and I send up a silent prayer, relaxing only when she does. "No it won't."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Help me." Regina says. "We need to find some way to punch through the ground. We need something big."

The three of us look at each other, at a loss for something. Obviously, digging isn't working. But what else?

"Explosives." Marco suggests. I jump, not realizing he'd come up to stand beside me.

Silence meets his suggestion as we wrack our brains for something, anything less dangerous to try. In the end it's Regina who gives the go ahead. The explosives are set up quickly and everyone is pushed back behind the yellow caution tape. The explosion rocks the ground and Emma immediately races in through the dust. It only takes her a moment to return and I can tell its outcome right away.

"Did it work?" Regina asks.

Emma shakes her head, "It didn't open."

"Then what did it do?" I ask, thinking about the counter-effect on Henry and Archie's side. But Regina was already on the move.

"What was that?" She exclaims, smacking her hand on the Chief's fold out desk. "What the hell was that! You said you could do this."

"Madame Mayor—" I try to interrupt.

"They could have killed my son!"

"I know, but this isn't helping." Emma says quietly, pulling her back.

"Look, going in after them clearly isn't working." I pipe up, trying to distract Regina from her anger. "If we knew exactly where they were, we could drill down to them. Maybe rig something to bring them back up." And then it hits me. It's been there all along, like our own personal locator spell. He's been barking and barking in the background throughout all this. "Pongo."

"Excuse me?" Regina asks.

But Emma, understanding me, is already on the move. She let's Pongo out of the fire truck and we watch as he tracks Archie's scent to a hidden grate in the ground.

"He's found something!" Emma shouts. Regina and I rush over. "Look, this is where they must be!

"What is it?" I ask.

"It's an airshaft." Graham answers me. _It's our way in._

But when we pry the lid off, we see for ourselves what airshaft actually means.

"So?" Regina asks as we all peer down the really dark, seemingly never-ending hole. "What's next?"

The noise of a reversing tow truck meets our ears. Marco slides out of the passenger seat, waving his thanks to Billy, and joins our little group. The tow truck's crane begins to lower. "We use this," he tells us. "We need to lower someone straight down, or the line will collapse the sides of the shaft."

"We have a harness." Graham reports as he returns with the black object.

"Lower me down," Regina orders.

"Oh no way, I'm going," Emma says, reaching for the harness.

"He's my son!"

Emma takes a breath. "He's my son, too." She sighs, trying one last point. "You've been sitting behind a desk for ten years. I can do this."

Regina takes a moment to size my friend up then relents. "Just bring him to me."

I pull Emma to the side and help her strap in. "You okay to do this?"

"This? Oh yeah, it's like rock climbing, only I'm going the other way."

"And you're trusting in a single wire to hold your weight plus two others."

"Always looking on the bright side, Kahlan, thanks."

I shoot her a wry smile. "Just keeping you on your toes. Now go get those boys."

Marco and I help Emma into the hole and she gives us a bright smile as we lower her down. Now all we can do is wait.

"What are you doing here anyway?" The Mayor turns to me, her eyes accusing. _Right, because this is all my fault._

"Look, you may have fired me from babysitting your son, but I still care about Henry." _Besides, I promised him I'd see him today._

"Yes, but—"

"Madame Mayor," I interrupt, exhausted. "I'm here for Henry, okay? Just like everyone else. I'm not leaving." Yes, because while I am _exhausted_ and mourning and even a little angry at my best friend, I have to gather what strength I have and push all that aside because Henry needs me. And Emma needs me. And she's the closest thing I have to a best friend now. And Mr. Gold is right. I do need somebody.

For whatever reason, Regina keeps her mouth closed after that and we wait for the signal from Emma to pull them up. Finally, it comes and we wait in agitated silence for blonde hair, brown, and red. Echoes of screams reach our ears and furtive glances are tossed between those gathered around the hole. And then we see them. All of them. And I could swear the whole world sighed in that moment.

Graham, Marco, and I pull the three survivors out of the hole and while Emma and I embrace, Regina pulls Henry away.

"Go," I tell her. And Emma rushes off to her son. I follow after her, but keep my distance. Henry's surrounded by love. That's all I could ask for.

"Henry? You okay?" Emma asks, running her hands over the boy.

"Deputy?" Regina says, her eyes never leaving her son. "You can clear the crowd away." I'm not quite sure what we expected, but Regina's cold voice somehow wasn't part of it. Both Emma and I sway on our feet from the sudden change. Because a thank you is definitely too much to ask.

"Thank you, Dr. Hopper." Or apparently not. If you're Henry's shrink and not his unexpected birth mother and former babysitter who got too close.

"I have something to say," Archie interrupts before she can continue. He leads them off a ways.

"Wow, that kid wastes no time, does he?" Emma asks, coming up beside me.

"Nope," I chuckle, gazing over at Henry. _He certainly doesn't._

"Well he doesn't remember yet, but Archie is more like Jiminy now than ever!" Henry exclaims as he runs over. You think of this kid and he appears.

"Congratulations, Henry," I say as he barrels into me. "But next time you go looking for proof, come find one of us first, okay?" I ruffle his hair. Henry grins up at me as an apology, but agrees.

"Is that Archie's father?" Emma asks. The three of us are sitting on the lip of the crater at the blast sight watching Archie and Marco.

"No, they're just…old friends." Henry replies. He has that tone that says he knows more, but won't tell us because we wouldn't believe him.

Emma takes Henry's hand. "You really scared me."

"I'm sorry." Henry leans into Emma. I smile fondly at the two of them. It's moments like these that really heal a wounded soul.

Everyone settles in to celebrate our great victory at the mine, but I've had my fair share of people for the day. I quietly excuse myself and begin to walk away when Emma calls after me.

"Are you sure?"

"I can't do people right now, Em. Henry's safe. You're fine. Now I need to go home."

Emma nods. "Well you can't walk home. Here, take my car. I'll get a ride with someone else. Archie owes me one anyway."

I catch the bundle of keys she throws me and turn towards her bug. "Kahlee?" I pause at the hesitation in her voice and brace myself. "You don't have to stay at your house if you don't want to. Mary Margaret and I have an extra couch and—" Emma clamps her mouth shut at the look I shoot her over my shoulder. "Okay, yes, that was from Mary Margaret. But my point still stands. You don't have to do this alone, Kahlan."

I walk back toward my friend and offer a weak smile. "This part I do. But thank you."

"Hey, I'm assuming tomorrow night is a no for you?"

"Yeah, I've had about all the festivity I can take for at least a week after today. But give David my congratulations for me."

I wave at Emma over my shoulder and slide into her car. I decide to drop it off at her house and walk home. Last night was…well, hell. As per usual, but still. Worse without a partner to get through it with. After being haunted by both memory and nightmare, the only difference being unconscious for the latter, I have no intention of being around for repeats. So walking it is.

I wrap my jacket more firmly around me as a breeze sweeps the streets of Storybrooke. Whether it's to ward off the cold or my thoughts I don't know. Not sure I care. I suppose it doesn't really matter anyway. One this is certain though. I mean, I know I don't have to go through this alone. I have Emma and Mary Margaret. Hell, I even think I could turn to Mr. Gold. I don't have to go through this alone.

But I will.

Because I don't want to have to explain the nightmares or the fact that my imagination rarely makes an appearance in them. What could my mind possibly conjure that would be worse than my experiences? _Dark and twisty Kahlan French who plays pretend and hides her past._

I heave a heavy sigh. I know news of Lissa's death will bring a strange combination of relief and pity. Only a few people will actually miss her. Only those who took the time to know her – Emma, Henry, Mary Margaret. They'd seen Lissa laugh and sing and dance. They'd seen her live. Happy Lissa was infectious. When she wanted to, that girl could shine.

It was when her demons attacked with memories of a darker time that Lissa would dim until there was nothing left. It was unfortunately a Lissa I'd come to know best. A reflection of the things I was better at hiding.

I quickly shake myself out of my reverie and look around. I'm in a…playground. The one in the park on top of a hill. Exhausted and therefore against my better judgment, I sink down into one of the swings. That's when the memory attacks.


End file.
